I am not a nice mom. . . Just ask my kids!

So I guess I am only nice to the baby. That's what my 9 yr old daughter told me. I was getting on to her about not doing something she was asked to do and she said, "Why do you only talk nice to the baby?". So I got real close to her face, put a big ol fat smile on mine and said in my sweetest baby-talk voice, "ohhh, you are just so cute! Yes you are." She started laughing and said, "mo-om!" :)

So that brings me to one of my most difficult struggles in finding balance. I WANT to be a nice mom. And I want my kids to think I am nice and fun and cool and whatever the new buzz word is these days for being awesome. However, I also want them to learn to listen and to be responsible and to know how to work and to pick up after themselves and to appreciate cleanliness. Can I possibly do both? Why is it that if I park my kids in front of the TV I could do all of their chores in an hour (ok, that's assuming that I don't get on the phone or distracted by pinterest), but if I ask them to do their chores, 5 1/2 hours later I will still be arguing with them on why they have to pick up their toys if no one is coming over. "It's not like the president is coming over, or anything!" I could put all their toothbrushes back in the holder and clean up the pieces of floss and dripped toothpaste in 5 minutes so is it worth it to spend 30 to make them do it themselves? Am I doing it all wrong? I see moms who put on "summer camps" and jungle safaris for their kids and I feel lucky if we can just make it to the library when they are actually open!

Somewhere in space and time there is a mom whose home is spotless and her children cheerfully helped get it that way. And now they are frolicking in the park holding hands and playing tag after eating their delicious nutritious lunch. Or is there??

My mom tells a story of group of kids whose moms would always make the prettiest cupcakes, the coolest gifts, the cutest crafts and had the neatest homes but the kids always wanted to go play at the cluttered house where the mom let them decorate their own cupcakes.

Can i be nice and fun at the same time?? Where is the happy middle?

Any advice from you nice moms out there?

Dilemma #1

In my search for a happy middle in all areas of life, the most difficult for me has to do with food. I love food in all its many forms. I love to smell it, cook it, experiment with it, read about it, learn the science behind it, and of course, eat it. This plus 7 pregnancies, 5 kids, and years of breast feeding has funnel caked, I mean funneled some extra poundage onto me bones. Just a few pounds for each pregnancy plus a few more for every year of breast feeding and Wah Lah! One chubby mama! Even training for and running a marathon (more details from that hilarious tale to come) didn't make me skinny. It's all about the food for me. I learned the hard way that you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet. So . . . today my skinny sister who is 12 years younger than me, some of her skinny friends, and my fat self, started a "12 Week Transformation" group on facebook. Today is day one. 10 minutes after I got off my treadmill, my husband calls. He has a colleague who spent most of last week in San Francisco having a brain tumor removed from behind his ear. He has lost his hearing in that ear and is now suffering the effects of the surgery itself. My hubby asked me to make something to take to him. Those who know me know I make a mean batch of cookies which also is responsible for a good amount of girth hanging from my hips. Hence Dilemma #1. Do I make cookies to take to our dear friend or say no because the last thing I need on day one of 12 weeks of transforming is cookie dough? I found MIDDLE ground! Solution: Because I also make a mean batch of strawberry freezer jam, I decided to make a healthy, whole-wheat, omega-3 enriched loaf of bread to go along with it. May the healthy ingredients plus the extra dose of love help Eric to heal and me to stay in the middle of this teeter totter of giving and "receiving"! My hips will thank me later!

Oatmeal, Whole Wheat, Flaxseed Bread

3/4 c. Honey
1/4 c. Butter
2 c. Oats
1/2 c. Ground Flaxseed
1 T. Kosher Salt
3 1/2 c. Boiling water

1 1/2 c. Warm water
2 T. Yeast
Drizzle of honey

6-8 cups Whole Wheat Flour (can mix with all-purpose flour if desire)

Mix first five ingredients in stand mixer. Add boiling water. Mix and then let cool. Sprinkle yeast on top of warm water then drizzle with honey*. Let sit still bubbly. Mix in 2 cups of flour to oat mixture, then add yeast mixture. Continue to add flour until mixture starts to solidify but is slightly sticky. Dump out onto floured counter and knead until it all comes together in a ball. Let rise until double in size. Divide into four parts and place in prepared loaf pans. Let rise again then bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

*I have found that honey is the best catalyst for yeast proofing. I have experimented with sugar, honey, and nothing and found that a drizzle of honey produces the best bubbly yeast.

My Middle

Middle. Middle of the road, right down the middle, midway, middle class, middle of nowhere, middle aged, middle school, mid-life crisis, Midwest, middle of the way. Middle: (adj.) Equally distant from the extremes; central. Balanced. Is that too much to ask?! :) I want to find the happy middle. The happy middle between fitness and fatness. The happy middle between having a super clean house and giving my children the time they need. The happy middle between extreme nutrition and gluttony. The happy middle in being a wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, daughter-in-law, and neighbor. The happy middle in being an athlete, but girly; funny, but tactful; smart, but silly; clean, but not obsessive; charitable, but not willing to be taken advantage of; fun, but classy; humble, but not weak; attractive, but not fake; outspoken, but kind; strict, yet flexible; frugal, but not tight; religious, but not nutty. Balanced. Life is a tightrope. But the circus is fun! This is my search.