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To My Uncle Lewis with Love and Raisins

One of the best men to ever walk this planet just happened to be my uncle.  Lewis N.Tenney.  He is loved by so many because he loved so many.  He would look at you with those big blue eyes and you felt as if he could see right into the very core of your soul, yet there was never judgement.  Only a sense of love and understanding and kindness.  He was a brilliant man and always seemed to know the right things to say.  Sometimes those words were calming to your spirit and other times were motivating to be better.  No matter what, you could always feel his love for you.  He was also very, very funny!  Once when I was about 3, my parents were going somewhere with Uncle Lewis and Aunt Mary.  When my parents arrived at their house to leave and Uncle Lewis saw that I was not there, he asked where I was and my mom told him that she was leaving me with her sister.  Then he said: " I guess I won't need this rope now!" I never fully understood that story until our daughter Emmi came along. How grateful I am for car seats!

As a tween, I spent a lot of time at the Tenney house.  Because my Aunt Mary knew I loved to bake, she would always have me make cookies while I was there.  The standard recipe was always Chocolate Chip. However, every time I would make them, Uncle Lewis would give me so much grief for not making Oatmeal Raisin.  In my opinion, raisins have to be one of the grossest things ever.  I am so not a fan!  But every once in a while I would make him his favorite and he would give be a big fat hug and flash his great smile and it would make my day!

This great man lost his battle with cancer on August 8, 2012.  I knew his time was short and since I now live 1000 miles away, I decided to write him a letter and tell him how much I love him and how grateful I am for his love and example in my life.  I told him I wished I was there to make him Oatmeal Raisin cookies again. The letter was mailed 13 hours before he passed from this life.  Somehow I hope he knows how i feel even without reading it.  Here is my oatmeal cookie recipe.  Love you Uncle Louie! Til we meet again!

Uncle Lewis' Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

1 c. Butter
1 c. Sugar
1 c. Brown sugar
2 eggs
1 t. Vanilla
2 1/2 c. Flour
2 c. Oats
2 t. Baking powder
2 t. Baking soda
2 c. Raisins

Cream sugars and butter.  Add eggs and vanilla.  Mix well. Stir in dry ingredients.  Add raisins and mix until dispersed evenly throughout dough.  Bake at 350* for 10-12 minutes.  (I only bake mine for 10 because I like them soft.)  Enjoy!

What's for dinner?

I only have four kids that can talk.  My baby just coos but perhaps she is also asking the same question the others are.  "What's for dinner?"  I know it gets asked way more than four times a day.  I answer it over and over and wonder where the extra kids are coming from because certainly they have all asked and had it answered at least twice.  And sometimes I don't know the answer and sometimes I don't want to tell them.  If I say "Chicken with spinach tarragon cream sauce and saute'ed zucchini, carrots and onions" guess what their reaction is.  "I don't like spinach."  "What's tarragon?"  "I hate zucchini.  Can i just eat the carrots?"  And my 3 yr old always asks if there is going to be a "zert".  Dessert for those of you who don't speak 3yrold.  As much as I don't like to tell them sometimes, it's better than if I don't know at all.  Menu planning definitely falls in the category of a "stitch in time saves nine."  Life is so much better when at least I know what's for dinner.  I usually come up with a 1-2 week list of meals I can pick from, buy necessary ingredients and then pick from the list daily depending on schedules and available prep time and mostly what sounds the best.  This week's main dish menu consists of Potstickers; the above mentioned Tarragon Chicken; Hamburgers (made with some grass-fed ground beef i purchased at local farmer's market which I am super anxious to try); Grandpa's Chicken (recipe to come later); Shrimp and vegetable foil packets; Pork Roast; and the ever exciting pot-luck dinner at my daughter's end of the years swim team party.  Is the reason they call it "pot-luck" because you will be lucky to find a pot that isn't too scary to eat??  I am a food snob, I know.   :)

Here is the recipe for tonight's dinner:

Chicken w/Spinach Tarragon Cream Sauce

3 boneless skinless chicken breasts, sliced in half lenthwise to make 6 thin pieces
2 T.  olive oil
1-2 c. fresh baby spinach, roughly chopped
1 c.  chicken broth
1/2 c. heavy cream
1/2 t. dried tarragon
salt and pepper to taste.

Heat oil in skillet.  Lightly salt and pepper chicken breasts.  Cook chicken on both sides until browned and done.  Once all chicken pieces are done, add spinach to remaining oil in pan.  Add more oil if pan is dry.  Saute spinach until wilted.  Carefully add chicken broth to hot pan.  It will create a lot of steam.  Whisk all around the pan scraping bits off the bottom. Let boil for several minutes to concentrate flavors.  Add cream and tarrogon and continue to cook until sauce thickens to desired thickness.  It will thicken slightly more as it cools.  Add salt and pepper if needed.  Pour hot sauce over chicken breasts. 

I served it with leftover whole wheat 3 cheese macaroni bake from Sunday (recipe to come) and zucchini, carrot, and onion slices saute'ed in a tablespoon of olive oil.  I took a picture.  I just have to figure out how to get in on here!  Got it!  I am a better cook than photographer, by the way!  haha!

Side note: get your children to help you in the kitchen.  They not only learn valuable skills, the also become vested in the meal and may be more likely to eat it.  Not to mention, if they are helping you they aren't fighting with a sibling!  :)  My 3 yr old peeled all the carrots and set the table. 

p.s. We did have a "zert".  I made frozen yogurt out of some cinnamon greek yogurt i found at the store today.  Mixed it with a bit of sugar and milk and froze it in the Cuisinart ice cream freezer.  Served it with fresh peaches.  Yum.

Knowledge is Power

I have heard that "knowledge is power" my whole life but it's just one of those sayings that you agree with but don't really get.  I think I get it now.  Let me preface this with the fact that I love sugar, in all it's beautiful forms.  I started baking at a very young age and fell in love with the kitchen almost immediately.  When I was in jr. high-the worst time of life for most of us-I remember feeling friendless and alone and my mom, who at the time had at least 8 other kids, changed my life.  Instead of ignoring my whiny-ness or telling me to suck it up and deal with it, she took me into the kitchen and taught me how to make bread.  I am sure the last thing she needed was flour everywhere and yeast crusting up on the counters while her young teenage daughter with no friends found herself.  But there she was, with the 1000 other things she had to do that day, spending time with me in the kitchen.  I never realized what an amazing mother she was til I became one myself.  How grateful I am for her very precious minutes and hours! Long story short, I won first place in a contest for my bread and I was hooked on baking.

Cooking is therapy!  I have spent many a frustrated days using my mixer to beat the stress right out of me using butter and brown sugar!  I love baked goods.  Cookies, brownies, cakes, breads, and other tasty morsels.  However, as of late, I have been reading that sugar is bad for you!  Huh.  Who knew??  :)  Honestly though.  The more I read about biochemistry and how high fructose corn syrup, sugar, and other sweeteners including artificial ones are processed by the body, the more I have been able Pto say no to those things.  I have always felt sugar was a plant, right?  Almost a vegetable!  But if you have ever seen sugar cane, you know white sugar doesn't even resemble it!  And I don't really believe HFCS is any worse for you than sugar but the fact that it is found in almost all processed foods means we are consuming way too much of it. The info I have found has given me much knowledge and therefore power.  Power to read labels and make better choices, power to change my recipes, power to just say "I do not need that, my body doesn't want that, and I am not going to eat that" for the first time in my life.  However,  our bodies are hard wired to taste sugar, salt and fat and I think we were
meant to enjoy those things but just like everything, we gotta find that happy middle so our middles 
can be happy! My family is not too thrilled about our new journey but i feel the responsibility of the health of my husband and children on my shoulders.  I do all the buying and all the cooking.  What I buy and cook is what they  eat!  Oh the pressure!! Here's an altered recipe that my family loved.

Blackberry Crisp

1 c. Oats
1/2 c. Whole wheat flour
1/2 c. Honey
1/2 t. Cinnamon
1/4 c. Butter
5 cups fresh blackberries

Put clean berries in prepared 2 qt. dish.  Whisk remainder of ingredients together and smear over berries.  Bake at 375* for 30 min.

p.s.  my sister sent me a recipe for brownies made with black beans!  Yikes!  I will let you guys know if I ever try that one, that is if my hubby lets me live long enough to blog about it!NY Times article on sugar-lengthy but amazing information.

I am not a nice mom. . . Just ask my kids!

So I guess I am only nice to the baby. That's what my 9 yr old daughter told me. I was getting on to her about not doing something she was asked to do and she said, "Why do you only talk nice to the baby?". So I got real close to her face, put a big ol fat smile on mine and said in my sweetest baby-talk voice, "ohhh, you are just so cute! Yes you are." She started laughing and said, "mo-om!" :)

So that brings me to one of my most difficult struggles in finding balance. I WANT to be a nice mom. And I want my kids to think I am nice and fun and cool and whatever the new buzz word is these days for being awesome. However, I also want them to learn to listen and to be responsible and to know how to work and to pick up after themselves and to appreciate cleanliness. Can I possibly do both? Why is it that if I park my kids in front of the TV I could do all of their chores in an hour (ok, that's assuming that I don't get on the phone or distracted by pinterest), but if I ask them to do their chores, 5 1/2 hours later I will still be arguing with them on why they have to pick up their toys if no one is coming over. "It's not like the president is coming over, or anything!" I could put all their toothbrushes back in the holder and clean up the pieces of floss and dripped toothpaste in 5 minutes so is it worth it to spend 30 to make them do it themselves? Am I doing it all wrong? I see moms who put on "summer camps" and jungle safaris for their kids and I feel lucky if we can just make it to the library when they are actually open!

Somewhere in space and time there is a mom whose home is spotless and her children cheerfully helped get it that way. And now they are frolicking in the park holding hands and playing tag after eating their delicious nutritious lunch. Or is there??

My mom tells a story of group of kids whose moms would always make the prettiest cupcakes, the coolest gifts, the cutest crafts and had the neatest homes but the kids always wanted to go play at the cluttered house where the mom let them decorate their own cupcakes.

Can i be nice and fun at the same time?? Where is the happy middle?

Any advice from you nice moms out there?

Dilemma #1

In my search for a happy middle in all areas of life, the most difficult for me has to do with food. I love food in all its many forms. I love to smell it, cook it, experiment with it, read about it, learn the science behind it, and of course, eat it. This plus 7 pregnancies, 5 kids, and years of breast feeding has funnel caked, I mean funneled some extra poundage onto me bones. Just a few pounds for each pregnancy plus a few more for every year of breast feeding and Wah Lah! One chubby mama! Even training for and running a marathon (more details from that hilarious tale to come) didn't make me skinny. It's all about the food for me. I learned the hard way that you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet. So . . . today my skinny sister who is 12 years younger than me, some of her skinny friends, and my fat self, started a "12 Week Transformation" group on facebook. Today is day one. 10 minutes after I got off my treadmill, my husband calls. He has a colleague who spent most of last week in San Francisco having a brain tumor removed from behind his ear. He has lost his hearing in that ear and is now suffering the effects of the surgery itself. My hubby asked me to make something to take to him. Those who know me know I make a mean batch of cookies which also is responsible for a good amount of girth hanging from my hips. Hence Dilemma #1. Do I make cookies to take to our dear friend or say no because the last thing I need on day one of 12 weeks of transforming is cookie dough? I found MIDDLE ground! Solution: Because I also make a mean batch of strawberry freezer jam, I decided to make a healthy, whole-wheat, omega-3 enriched loaf of bread to go along with it. May the healthy ingredients plus the extra dose of love help Eric to heal and me to stay in the middle of this teeter totter of giving and "receiving"! My hips will thank me later!

Oatmeal, Whole Wheat, Flaxseed Bread

3/4 c. Honey
1/4 c. Butter
2 c. Oats
1/2 c. Ground Flaxseed
1 T. Kosher Salt
3 1/2 c. Boiling water

1 1/2 c. Warm water
2 T. Yeast
Drizzle of honey

6-8 cups Whole Wheat Flour (can mix with all-purpose flour if desire)

Mix first five ingredients in stand mixer. Add boiling water. Mix and then let cool. Sprinkle yeast on top of warm water then drizzle with honey*. Let sit still bubbly. Mix in 2 cups of flour to oat mixture, then add yeast mixture. Continue to add flour until mixture starts to solidify but is slightly sticky. Dump out onto floured counter and knead until it all comes together in a ball. Let rise until double in size. Divide into four parts and place in prepared loaf pans. Let rise again then bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

*I have found that honey is the best catalyst for yeast proofing. I have experimented with sugar, honey, and nothing and found that a drizzle of honey produces the best bubbly yeast.

My Middle

Middle. Middle of the road, right down the middle, midway, middle class, middle of nowhere, middle aged, middle school, mid-life crisis, Midwest, middle of the way. Middle: (adj.) Equally distant from the extremes; central. Balanced. Is that too much to ask?! :) I want to find the happy middle. The happy middle between fitness and fatness. The happy middle between having a super clean house and giving my children the time they need. The happy middle between extreme nutrition and gluttony. The happy middle in being a wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, daughter-in-law, and neighbor. The happy middle in being an athlete, but girly; funny, but tactful; smart, but silly; clean, but not obsessive; charitable, but not willing to be taken advantage of; fun, but classy; humble, but not weak; attractive, but not fake; outspoken, but kind; strict, yet flexible; frugal, but not tight; religious, but not nutty. Balanced. Life is a tightrope. But the circus is fun! This is my search.